Eats Kunming

beat poetry, part 1

2011-12-17T18:42:00.000-08:00

China related. When I was in Beijing in 2003 I got a "job" editing a chinese-english dictionary - looking for typos and making sure that usage was correct. As a side project, I wrote down every sentence that I found interesting. These were example sentences. How to use the word "child" or "care for," for instance. I recently rediscovered the list. My apologies for the racism and unintentional raciness.

here goes:

---------------------
>
> In China, all children are well cared for
>
> The children have the best of care in new China
>
> The Red Army's glorious revolutionary traditions
> have carried over to the present day
>
> he declared that the Communist International was the
> hope of the world's oppressed.
>
> it was like the Black Hole of Calcutta on the
> underground this morning.
>
> i discovered that the French people have a heart
>
> believe it or not, china will never yield to outside
> pressure
>
> we believe in our government
>
> we firmly believe in collective leadership
>
> Thousands of Chinese miners, dead or alive, were
> thrown into the death pit by the Japanese Facists
>
> "in an interesting condition" =pregnant
>
> "make a classic boner"
>
> "on the game" = earning money as a prostitute
>
> "go the whole hog"
>
> Divide these figures by 10, if you want the truth
>
> cock is bold on his own dung hill
>
> reading is the key to the treasure house of ideas
>
> a fall into the pit, a gain in your wit
>
> dont' listen to him - he doesn't know a hawk from a
> handsaw
>
> Brian was always camping it up and pretending to be
> queer to make us laugh
>
> Is this haughty, gallant, gay Lothario?
>
> the two balls kissed
>
> the doctor slid his shorts down. his right cheek was
> freckled with punctures.
>
> his body is clever like a monkey
>
> sometimes amusement lay in speech and they climbed
> up their lives with jokes.
>
> what a big cock!
>
> trust him to cock it up!
>
> it was so cold that nobody can make his hands naked.
>
> they went into it for several hours, without much
> satisfaction on either side
>
> i will kill you a goat
>
> the habit of obedience was burned into me as a child
>
> he hands the old granny upstairs.
>
> just give him a piece of meat and he's in seventh
> heaven
>
> I don't know he was a gay person
>
> She is unusually soft and gentle in him.
>
> Mike thinks I'm trying to get off with his
> girlfriend
>
> At the college fancy-dress ball, one fo the students
> was got up as a tramp
>
> My daughter gives me much pleasure
>
> I gave it to him hot
>
> I wouldn't dream of insisting on taking your picture
> against your will
>
> I'm just waiting for a friend. It's an appointment
> made 20 years ago. It sounds a little funny, doens't
> it?
>
> He made manful efforts to...
>
> A rapist butchered his victim with razor.
>
> we call him iron ox
>
> His suitings are natty to a degree. (this means his
> clothes are extremely pretty)
>
> They discovered the delights of feeding chickens
> gradually
>
> How can we discern the difference between two books
> in a dark room
>
> "Is badminton anything like tennis?" "no, as
> different
> as chalk from cheese"
>
> I think it's not difficult for him to get a word in
> edgewise, because all the chatterboxes are not here
>
> He attempted to cover up his affair with that fat
> woman
>
> the farmer felt the cow, went away, returned, sorely
> perplexed, always afraid of being cheated
>
> even fools are afraid to lean against a rotten post
>
> neither beasts nor birds would have the bat as their
> friend so he was afraid to leave his house
>
> what a miracle! the rescue party dug out from
> underneath the debris an infant who was intact and
> still alive
>
> black people aren't allowed in to such places
>
> when death has once entered a house, it amost always
> returns there directly as if it knew the door
>
> the New forces always defeat the forces of decay
>
> Bed and sex are different things
>
> come on, put some beef into the job

> you have the beginnings of a double chin
>
> cheese belongs with salad
>
> children were playing in a pleasure beach
>
> can you bear your favorite child to be ruined?
>
> the young girl bore up well after her dad and granny
> were killed by the aggressors
>
> would you like to lie down on the bed for a few
> minutes?
>
> on several occaisions, returning late, he had found
> guests in his bed.
>
> she is brave for a woman
>
> i shall love you as long as i have breath
>
> she breathed a dead-and-alive "Good Afternoon"
>
> he felt lonely after he buried his good friend
>
> i couldn't understand, why a man who had always been
> so fond of the social scene should suddenly want to
> bury himself alive in a one-horse village at the
> back of nowhere
>
> wet clothes cling to the body
>
> he covered his wife with his body
>
> we are glad to have booked with you 1000 dozen Mens
> Shirts
>
> she remembers hunger, and depressing times when her
> parents sought escape in the bottle from hard
> realities
>
> They bound the boy's hands to you, Monroe.
>
> we attacked the enemy in the rear
>
> pay no attention to what that drunkard says
>
> the august weather is delicious
>
> wool body suits will retain their vogue next autumn
>
> "lazy bones! awake!" cried her mother
>
> the teacher told John to stay away from the members
> of the youth gangs
>
> there is a bird on the back of a piece of cloth
>
> gossip had it that she was a bad girl
>
> when does the ball come off?
>
> while listening to music, the young man baths
> himself slowly
>
> the literal meaning of the word "cat" is an animal,
> not a girl
>
> it is an animal of monkey kind
>
> "let's go the whole animal then" said sam.
>
> that night the table answered for a bed for us both.
>
> in answer to these questions i either nodded or made
> strange noises
>
> he's asleep, don't arouse him
>
> you may be only an assistant painter, but your
> pictures can knock mine into a cocked hat
>
> a hobby is compared to a special friend that you
> choose for yourself
>
> they considered themselves to be superior to
> coloured people
>
> he was fully bent upon the dissemination of Chinese
> culture all over the world
>
> he took his girlfriend home after the party and they
> stayed in the car billing and cooing for a long time
> before she went into her house.
>
> China is an attractive piece of meat coveted by all.
> But this piece of meat is very tough, and for years
> no one has been able to bite into it.
>
> a camel is know as the ship of the desert
>
> > regular physical exercises soon made the boys hard
>
> have you the heart to say this of your own son,
> unnatural mother?
>
> bitches on heat can be very messy
> >
> She dreamed of turning a deaf-blind creature into a
> useful human.
>
> so you want a rise? dream on.
>
> when unemployed, I went to drive a tricycle
>
> Peace is fun. Peace is box office. Peace diverts
> critics, Peace is good.
>
> she was beginning to feel easy

Breakfast treat

2011-11-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

puff pastry, with goat cheese, leeks, an egg, and chives.

East Coast Eats 2011

2011-11-08T16:48:00.000-08:00

oh my god, you guys

2011-08-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

remember me? Fast forward three years.

http://tv.sohu.com/20101019/n276002332.shtml

starting at about 9:55, and through at least 15:00. Watch for the girl in the pink dress. My Chinese co-worker called Chen Kun, the handsome male, lead the "Tom Cruise" of China.

http://tv.sohu.com/20101019/n276002178.shtml

also, starting at 33:50 - 36:00. some glimpses. I'm seen entering the building over and over again.

Best of Mexico Eats

2011-02-23T20:00:00.001-08:00

chilaquiles, round one.

with the sauces.

chilaquiles round two, at cocina economica #2

vegetarian tacos at the window-taqueria down the street. (had fish in them?)

torta! with everything but meat. (at cocina economica - the original)

volcanes de pescado. my favorite thing with fish that I tasted. At los delfines.
los delfines had quite the sauce bar. this is my plate pre-sauces.
sauce area. note the whole roasted onions in the lower right.

post sauces.

chilaquiles at maria's, which were by far the best chilaquiles.

the fanciest mushroom and eggplant stuffed cannelloni with poblano cream and truffle oil at the lovely cafe del mar.

kimchi quesadillas

2011-01-25T21:20:00.000-08:00

with a light cabbage slaw on the side.

recipe testing

2010-11-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

Recipe testing for a local vegetarian blogger, Michael Natkin of Herbivoracious.

The recipe was Kouftikes De Prasa Sandwiches. I forgot the ingredients for the sandwiches-part, so I had leek patties on a cabbage salad (not in a pita). And it was damn fine. Find the recipe when the cookbook is published!

best of new york eats

2010-10-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

The Pane e Panelle, from Bar Stuzzichini

A dark and blurry De Guasacaca arepa, from Caracas Arepas

Chocolate pudding, with caramel sauce, whipped cream, and caramelized brioche croutons from the Gramercy Tavern

The 'shroom burger from Shake Shack. I had two of these over two days. The second day it was washed down with a "concrete." Chocolate frozen custard, chocolate covered pretzels, peanut butter ribbons, marshmallow cream ribbons.

Pandan ice cream at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory.

Spicy Rizzak from Tiny's Giant Sandwich Shop. Fake turkey, fake bacon, real cheese, great sauce.

Eggs rothko at "Egg" in Williamsburg. Toad in the hole, but using brioche.

Ginger Scallion Noodles at Momofuku noodle bar.

And the grand finale of all meals, ever. Three-course lunch at Eleven Madison Park.

"our version of a baked potato"

two kinds of apple "snow" (being a veg means I missed the foie gras snow)

endive, with everything good.

sweet potato beignet, chocolate thing, brown butter ice cream, foam.

sweet potato brittle, and truffle truffles

TRUFFLE TRUFFLES!

o, canada

2010-08-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

the crunchie, revisited

Cong You Ban Mian

2010-07-18T21:33:00.001-07:00

Like, surprisingly good. The leftover oil from frying the scallions was amazing in and of itself.

fried oatmeal fritter

2010-07-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

formed into a patty, rolled in brown sugar and pan fried. heavy cream on the side.

ramen

2010-02-14T09:22:00.001-08:00

shitakes, peas, poached egg, ginger, miso, soy, garlic, scallions, sake, sesame oil

eggs and facon

2010-02-14T09:21:00.001-08:00

frawnch food

2010-02-14T09:19:00.001-08:00

a fine accomplishment

2009-09-09T20:34:00.001-07:00

korean cold noodles

things i ate on the road to tillamook

2009-09-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

grilled cheese with mango chutney and mustard
egg salad sandwich with green goddess dressing
samples of cheese
5 scoops of ice cream

pizza again

2009-09-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

my edible ode to marination mobile

2009-08-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

corn tortilla, with korean red pepper paste mayo and sesame-rice vinegar slaw.

it's probably news to no one, but they now park two blocks down from my work every tuesday. this serendipitous and bright piece of news after I emailed my boss a week prior to ask if we could host them in our own parking lot. at least nine people from work went down there. I had one of their tofu tacos again after making this, and now have to figure out how to replicate their sweet caramelized onions, scallions and the most tender tofu i've ever bitten. for my own records, it was heavy on the lime and ginger, i think.

three whammy meal

2009-08-13T20:54:00.000-07:00

korean veggie pancakes, chinese dry sauteed green beans. dessert was balsamic plums over vanilla ice cream

2009-07-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

kale pizza with roasted potatoes

raspberry rhubarb crisp (cardamom in the topping!)

with sage ice cream

2009-07-27T21:58:00.000-07:00

the first carrot

the first tomato. it wasn't ripe. problem is, it's a green tomato so i'm having some trouble with this.

2009-07-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

pasta with regis' radish leaf pesto, tilth's shell peas, and side of the road's mint.

CSA, Garden menu

2009-06-29T12:12:00.000-07:00

Breakfast: Miso soup with CSA bok choy

Breakfast snack: raspberry smoothie with berries from grandpa bob

the rest of the day: lentil dip with CSA collards, salad with CSA lettuce and peas from bob's pea closet, and spanikopita with garden kale et al.

uninspired post, for posterity.
festive and friend-tested ideas for greens-intensive dishes are sought.

addendum, to get the ball rolling. other ventures have included:

lettuce quiche
beets and beet green salad. capers, feta, candied walnuts.
kale spread (like pesto, blanched and blended with pine nuts)
pasta with broccoli raab
eggs florentine, subbing raab for spinach

peas, kale having gone wild

2009-06-05T19:48:00.001-07:00

meal grave

2009-06-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

meal fetus

2009-05-01T10:42:00.000-07:00

the crib
broccoli raab

beets in training

leeks

pea nursery

going up for adoption

tea that broke the bank

2009-05-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

not your everyday recession tea

what I had for breakfast

2009-04-12T17:26:00.001-07:00

waiting patiently

pop'd over!

roasted at home without setting off the fire alarm.
wonders to self, "what's the big frakkin' deal, zoka?"

what I had for dinner

2009-04-12T17:24:00.001-07:00

artichoke, garlic, mayo

ful

2009-04-12T17:18:00.000-07:00

it seemed more ethiopian at the time

to make my first baguettes, I followed the world's most American in Paris recipe ever, with limited success.

normal cream makes ignorance bliss, best night ever

2009-03-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

homemade oreos and 40% milkfat ice cream

chocolate caramel truffles with australian pink salt

2009-03-08T20:03:00.001-07:00

one jar down

2009-03-08T19:59:00.001-07:00

lemon tart, but using some preserved lemons. very salty.
as bad as it looked, the crust was good - where it burned it also caramelized the sugar in the edge of the tart.

monkey see, monkey doo

2009-03-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

stir fried cabbage with soy sauce. fried egg & toasted sesame seeds.

pride is a sin

2009-03-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

let me be forgiven.

Gave Girl Scouts Best Run For Its $$$$ Food

2009-02-27T14:54:00.001-08:00

Most Disappointing Food

2009-02-27T14:50:00.000-08:00

Most Adorable Food

2009-02-27T14:49:00.001-08:00

KAYA TOAST

2009-01-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

coconut cream, eggs, sugar.

don't knot the three separate leaves and then knot them together. Just knot them all together from the get-go.

It got worse before it got better.

but the magic part is that you cut a slice of bread in half, along its, say, longitude. Sandwich it and grill it in butter. Other ways butter is included in this recipe is: cold pats of butter filling.

selling point

2009-01-20T11:03:00.001-08:00

tiny cherry pies

2009-01-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

flavor rave

2009-01-03T10:20:00.001-08:00

take your binky out of your mouth, and prepare to eat tamarind paste like a stoner.

The spread:

preserved

2008-12-22T16:13:00.000-08:00

pickled

2008-12-22T16:10:00.000-08:00

substitutions

2008-12-22T15:56:00.000-08:00

I made do with a sieve over a pot and a damp rag both below and above the sticky rice in place of this. The rice sat on the stove for more than 2 hours and it still hadn't cooked through. After I googled "is eating raw rice bad for you?" I ate it anyway.

brown glutinous rice with orange peel and goji berries. served with milk.

not food!

2008-12-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

flattery

2008-11-20T13:38:00.000-08:00

Apparently this place does a hot chocolate made with peppercorn-infused milk. I did the milk thing and then put it in coffee.

gnocchi, gnever again.

2008-11-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

it looks deceivingly pretty (at least to this sweat-like-a-pig to make it happen beholder), but it was a sticky process that ended in a gummy thumb-like product. (look at that one in the lower middle! It hella looks like a thumb!) Sweet potato gnocchi with sage and brown butter sauce. sauce is a misnomer.

you can take the dumpling out of china

2008-11-20T13:30:00.000-08:00

back in biz!

bon soir! croque madam!

2008-10-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

is confit supposed to be more like jam?

2008-10-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

pizza with red onion haphazard confit, mozzarella, and apples

beet salad

2008-10-19T16:05:00.000-07:00

with beet greens, capers, and leftover pasta with mizithra

little ethiopia is rolling over in its grave

2008-10-19T16:04:00.001-07:00

tofu salad

2008-10-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

with peppers, tomatoes, carrots, daikon, cilantro, fried scallions (is there an emoticon for delicious?), peanuts

singapore lust

2008-07-02T13:14:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Ruby Dokken's adventures, and Aditi's insane job, I've been noggin-scratching on how to bring Singaporean street food to me, rather than the $1500 alternative. Dot's entry on the elusive carrot cake nearly killed me, so I was surprised to find that epicurious had a recipe. I bought fresh daikon, but got overwhelmed before I started, and ended up making another trip to chinatown to buy premade radish cake.

Anyway, kudos to co-chef Lindo. It turned out amazing, though we might recommend decreasing the amount of sweet soy sauce a bit - at least if your is incredibly molasses-like as mine is.

as a side note, I don't know why half the pictures are suddenly showing up as pixelated and awful. I'm guessing it has to do with shutterfly's redesign, but it's irritating and will be a long time before I get around to reuploading.

how i kept my eater's figure

2008-02-22T11:41:00.001-08:00

a dapper british breakfast

2008-02-22T11:31:00.000-08:00

In HK I sought the things the guidebook told me (I conceded they are guides for a reason). specifically, I was interested in the half tea half coffee (those in the know call it "halfty half"), and a bun that promised a pad of butter inside. pad of butter bun was sold out all the time! I had to leave HK to find it. But H-ty H, shown here dwarved by supergulp serving of oatmeal, was a new thing for me to be obsessed with and pretend to have the rights to. Its "chowder-like" taste was an enigma.

2008-02-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

a breakfast i originally avoided because the name of it was the word for intestine. but it was a thin rice pancake with egg and lettuce (though there were certainly meat options), and wrapped (jus' like an intestine!), sliced, and served with a sweet soy sauce.

hester eats dust

2008-02-22T11:19:00.000-08:00

hard to taste much in a crowd like this.

Ending on a high note

2008-02-22T11:01:00.000-08:00

This may be my last post of new content, since I'm tucked up cozy in my american blanket as of feb 08. But "coconut rice" turned out to be the best surprise I'd ever ordered, and you won't hear from me again until I've figured out how to recreate it.

shanghai aquarium: keep danger away

2008-02-22T10:58:00.000-08:00

new year's

2008-02-22T10:49:00.000-08:00

Gan Bei! to Lesley's fam, who made new year's dinner the way, I suppose, it is supposed to be in China. Cabbage with fake tuna, many a mushroom fungus soup, fake fish with mayo kris-krosses. fake cream of crab in a crab shaped dish, fake meat floss, sweet and sour deep fried.

2008-01-23T04:28:00.000-08:00

this is a blurry picture, for no reason, but these huge brown chunks of things that look like brownies are blocks of sugary instant tea, which i thought was super cool.

the holy grail of adorable meets delicious

2008-01-23T04:19:00.000-08:00

i threw a major whining fit two nights ago when we came across this little shop and they had the precious display treats all lined up and beaming, and then the two cute girls who worked there being all mock helpless and in despair for our benefit, while they said they were sold out. i'd had the poor man's boring version of the biscuit shaped, cream-filled pancakes, but these were like the japanese-style Cadillac of such things! with flavors like green tea, and coffee with pudding, and chocolate-chocolate. I found them again tonight.

indifferent breakfast

2008-01-23T04:13:00.000-08:00

the excitement of accidentally ordering something you haven't had before is often tempered by an unexpected and uncomfortable mix of sweet and savory. this sticky rice ball was filled with some pickled radish (fine), half (or maybe even just a stingy quarter) of one of the brown hardboiled eggs (also not a problem), and then waayyy too liberally doused with a super sugary breadcrumbs mixture, which i had to shake out towards the end. is it gross that the picture includes the egg all gnawed-on?

ps RIP Ledger

this was a new thing

2008-01-23T03:59:00.000-08:00

and i love new food things, and i love things that are in little packages, even though i didn't know what was contained in this baseball sized bundle of joy. i chose "vegetarian curry" flavor, and therefore it came floating in a pool of curry. it was a medium thick tofu skin packet housing thin rice noodles, and it kind of had some edible gummy paste swiped across the top, to keep the noodles in I guess. 阿给 wasn't, like, the world's coolest taste or anything, but I had a fondness for it.

milk tea, not just with bubbles anymore

2008-01-23T03:41:00.000-08:00

Mine, on the left, is "pudding" milk tea. you can see a smear of ivory towards the bottom of the cup. they open a small plastic package of, well, pudding, and then dump it in the cup before adding your milk tea.

this was genmai milk tea with - since the tapioca balls weren't done stewing yet - brown sugar jelly.
on a disappointing note, as heavy metal awesome as milk tea is in taiwan, most places make it with milk powder as opposed to real milk.

if i hadn't heard of Japan

2008-01-21T01:57:00.000-08:00

I might mistakenly think I was there.
Here, in a subway station, they sold individually plastic wrapped pieces of sushi. for instance, a piece of sushi with a hello kitty slice of fishcake on top.

I'm not kidding when i say this beer has braille on it

2008-01-21T01:47:00.000-08:00

2008-01-21T01:30:00.001-08:00

i drank this, braving the consequences:
but not this. too soon.

this little man of gold

2008-01-21T01:28:00.001-08:00

tasted like warm waffle batter and was filled with custard, which was applied to the uncooked batter in its cast iron little man shaped mold as a little blob covered in cornstarch, and therefore man-handle-able. we ate a box of twelve, after we each had a sample of one.

it's what's i'm eating, mostly

2008-01-21T01:27:00.001-08:00

subway y dunkin donuts, in a way

2008-01-21T01:23:00.000-08:00

"The Salad Boat" consists of a bialy-shaped deep fried donut that is liberally filled with mayonnaise and then holds cucumber, tomato, hardboiled egg, and, for some, meat slices.

eats taiwan treats, snacks

2008-01-19T03:00:00.000-08:00

rice from within a banana leaf, with nuts and beans covered in a stupid sweet/salty sauce, but with cilantro, so thank you.

sugar soup with 4 selections of beans, taro balls, and pudding.

tofu byproduct with peanuts and small fish egg tapioca type business.

mochi filled with sesame and coated in peanut.

small things filled with cream, red bean paste, taro mush, corn, or apples.

eats taiwan breakfast

2008-01-19T02:53:00.000-08:00

flaky bread with a egg inside

breakfast addendum, a now more treasured favorite. a green onion pancake fried up with an egg fried on to it. rolled up, cut into manageable pieces, and squirted with sauce.

But how do you get it out from between your teeth?

2008-01-09T22:03:00.000-08:00

Barbie egg kabob

2008-01-09T21:31:00.000-08:00

Brining and dining

2008-01-01T22:18:00.000-08:00

Room service menu:

circumventing legal adoption laws

2007-12-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

have i really not posted a picture of a fantastic fat baby's adorable face yet?

i now pronouce you Barb and Nick

2007-12-27T19:37:00.000-08:00

I spent the better part of yesterday morning in a wedding photo studio slash salon as my host sister's boyfriend's cousin got her makeup done. The shop is filled with books (above) that serve as samples for the kinds of photos you can take with your newly-husband that will later hang all over your newly-house walls and become two oversized glossy albums on your newly-coffee table. Most of them have truncated and mangled strains of english song lyrics or things that are supposed to pass as poetry and decoration. The wedding pictures are all very similar to the girlied up portraits that every single 20-ish city-lass in china has had done. I flipped through the book of shots of the bridesmaid while we sat around her house later, and will never forget her "Bland Smile".

"just when you thought it couldn't get any stinkier"

2007-12-21T19:36:00.000-08:00

eli, i challenge your manhood.

2007-12-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

this is what a water chestnut looks like pre-showing up in your stir fry at Double Happiness Golden Jade Garden Dragon Palace! did you have any idea? The literal translation of the name (mati) means horse-hoof. eaten raw (sold on the street from big carts peeled and bagged by the hawker) they taste chalky and gross, but host mom boiled them and you can eat the outer skin also and they are crisp and sweet.

i don't think these are for eating, but i wouldn't bet money on it.

2007-12-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

Man with double sided bunny rack.

Koreans aren't the only ones

2007-12-14T18:58:00.000-08:00

who appreciate a lean slice of dog loin. Bring the whole fam down to "Guizhou Dog Meat Chain Restaurant", set - as truth in advertising insists - by a serene lake in the pastoral Swiss Alps.

how many partners have you had?

2007-12-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

Finding my lunch

2007-12-09T22:48:00.000-08:00

and then losing it, at the free specialty ear "scooping" stand on the street.

if ever my blog did have a mission statement

2007-12-08T23:52:00.000-08:00

fashion corner

2007-12-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

matchy matchersons, Hair McBalloonpants, Dancing Santa-Mixed Race, and all the cropped pants + tall boots combinations you could ever wish for. also popular in china: anything shaped like a balloon in the sleeve or knee region.

2007-12-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

My friend has been trying to get me to try these fried rice noodles (the extra gummy kind, in a thin but exciting large triangluar shape) forever, and I only wish she had tried harder and earlier so that i could have added them to my regimen. they have more of a -what I imagine to be, in my limited asian outside of china travels - malaysian flavor, and they kick ass. we were an awful addition to their clientele as we shouted in our meager explanatory chinese that one dish wanted no meat, yes spice, one wanted yes meat, no spice, and one wanted both (unless the meat was pork) and wanted the strip-like noodles instead of the triangles. we had to send one back to get the spice that was left out in the confusion, but then it was almost unbearably salty and just got picked at. we forgot to ask for light on the oil, but it still was awesome.

comfort foods

2007-12-06T19:02:00.000-08:00

that should have been more delicious than they look, but since they were purchased at a food court, it's understandable:

"fresh milk rice (powder) pudding", actual rice pudding made with condensed milk posing as coconut milk and goji berries, and tapioca with large chunks of taro and a stingy dash of real coconut milk.

where you go after you Eat Kunming

2007-12-06T18:59:00.000-08:00

This is a pay toilet. I did you the courtesy of not photographing directly into the poo canyon or the waste paper basket.

thanksgiving is the same in every nation

2007-11-27T23:37:00.000-08:00

a few variables change, like, say, trade a large plate of fried thing with some corn kernels in it and topped with sugar for a turkey, but then you basically have it. everyone is irritable and sickeningly full, and the leftover fried thing comes home in a plastic bag that sits on the counter, from which host mom dutifully eats every morning and tries to rally support for.

Kunming Second Dog Show

2007-11-23T23:34:00.000-08:00

This was the boringest 4 dollars I have ever spent. It's a good reminder that the things that China makes you buy a ticket for are usually way less interesting than what happens on the street. As I listened to the MIDI strains of "Havah Nagilah" being piped into the warehouse every four songs, I couldn't help but daydream about the things I could have spent my money on: An hour and a half blind man full body massage. An hour long foot massage in a room with a topless lady clock. 2-3 haircuts (include massage and deep ear hole cleansing). 30 mung bean peanut treats. 6 pappa roti. Or maybe a small down payment on this personal sweat machine.

What lies beneath.

2007-11-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

Kunming's underground city:

two treats

2007-11-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

I'm making the most of my time abroad by eating dessert after every meal. I have two new favorites.

1) "green-bean and peanut cake"

tastes like cookie dough but is made (what isn't here?) of powdered mung bean and oil.

2) Pappa roti

tastes like a delicate raised maple bar, only it's not glazed, and instead has a small crunchy sugary ring around the base (shaped and sized like a 3-D yarmulke), and the outside is the slightest slightest bit crispy. there's also a secret pocket of melted margarine somewhere. It's outrageously expensive by chinese standards (it cost as much as my lunch for one), but it was warm and gave me a priceless sugar high.

"I have a new cool favorite food that's probably too exotic for you to have tried before"

2007-11-17T23:39:00.000-08:00

It's one of the specialties of Heijing, a salt manufacturing town a few hours outside of Kunming, and it's the poky part of the fruit commonly known as a pomegranate. It was more like my consolation prize for not being able to eat the real specialties, which were salt-something chicken and stone fish.

Good point, China

2007-11-17T23:32:00.001-08:00

and then maybe some more jelly

2007-11-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

with surprise ingredients, and surprising food methods

and then, in the interest of blogging, I ate some things made of jelly

2007-11-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

I really thought this was a DIY jelly making machine cup, but it was just a catchy disguise for wasteful packaging. The little jelly cups were fine tasting, the only thing that seemed to be an excuse for the packaging decadence was the addition of "jellymate", which might as well have been desiccant for all the good it did the flavor.

Aisle 1995

2007-11-06T21:38:00.000-08:00

The chinese year of the Orbitz.